A New Experience

I've definitely come to learn that a new experience isnt always a good thing....

This morning like every morning we flip Hannah's light on to get her to start waking up.  She is most definitely not a morning person, she hasnt been in about a year! HA! No joke she's usually grumpy if we have to wake her up.  As long as she wakes up on her own she's fine but you try to stir her in anyway you usually pay dearly for it.  Well Kyle and I have become what we considered "experts" at handling her morning time moodiness (which that thought was short lived) only to be surprised this morning with an off the scale meltdown that lasted from 5:30 until about 6:30 this morning.  Crazy to think that a crying baby can, well, cry for that long... right? Well in truth she didnt cry the entire time there was some screaming, kicking, fussing/whining...
I mean seriously she didnt even know what she wanted! When I set her down for her oatmeal (again same routine) she immediately burst into tears, so I picked her up and she started crying and saying no... no... and pointing at her oatmeal (like she wanted some) so I set her back down and the crying/screaming/kicking started up again except this time it was more intense!  So I picked her back up and was sushing her and asking her what was wrong.  (side note: she has this habit for about as long as I can remember where when she's sleepy she tucks her hand under her chin, kind of like she's holding her throat, only shes not, its just a habit she has when she's sleepy).  Well there was absolutely, positively NO way I was taking her to daycare while she was in such a mood.  I took her to her crib (all the while she is screaming/crying) and I lay her in it and I tell her when she stops crying Mommy will come and get her, I guess sort of like a "time out". Well after about 3 to 5 minutes an eternity she finally calmed down to little hiccups.  I went back in her room and asked if she was ready to get up and eat?  She got up reached up and I picked her up took her back to the kitchen where she started the entire meltdown over A.G.A.I.N....
I said Hannah do you want to go back to your crib and she immediately said No! I told her to quit crying and she did finally.... the only thing she had was the hiccups because of the crying/screaming frenzy she just went through!
I can't stand to see her get so upset like that, and its so much worse now because I feel like there should be something I can do to ease her.  But there wasnt.  Seeing such big tears fall from her eyes makes me feel like it was something I did and I am so used to being the one who makes her smile that seeing her cry makes me feel a huge weight of guilt on my shoulders.  It's tough.  So I guess that's why they call it "tough love"? I didnt want to let her go once I got to her daycare, I'm pretty sure I'm just as attached to that little girl as she is to me, if not more so. 
As I was driving to work I was flipping through the different stations on my radio and I came across a song that I hadnt heard in a while but yet it seemed to be speaking to me personally.

"This is the stuff that drives me crazy,

This is the stuff that getting to me lately,

In the middle of my little mess,

I forget how big I'm blessed"

Francesca Battistelli ~ This is the Stuff