Just one of those days....

Today is just one of those days where I feel a need to spill my guts all over the place.... I am sure its just the pregnancy (don't you love how we can blame it on that so easily?).  I cant promise this post wont be completely depressing, or totally exciting either, and to some it may be god awful boring. But here it goes anyway.

I am totally sick of being "sick" I mean from the day I found out I was pregnant (10 weeks ago) until this very morning I have been nausea's.  I know I wont feel "normal" until after this babe has arrived but darn I'm ready to feel my "pregnant normal" and trust me this most definitely isn't it!

I was listening to a song this morning and Kyle told me a few days ago how it reminded him of his teen/early 20's.  When I heard it come on, on my way to work I actually listened to it and can you believe I almost started crying! WOW! I was listening to it thinking of all the craziness he and I used to get ourselves into when we first started dating and all the "sneaking" around we used to do, to avoid my parents... I was reminiscing about my high school years I remember when I was 14 so ready to turn 15 so I could get my permit, then I was 15 ready to turn 16 so I could finally be able to drive without adult supervision, then I was 16 ready to be 18 so I could be finished with High school and on to my college years and I remember being 20 extremely ready to buy my first mixed drink or beer and then I was 21.  At 21 I was engaged and married that same year and a year after that we found out we were expecting our first baby.  I was 23 when I had Hannah and I'll practically be 25 when I have my second baby!

I was thinking (because we all know Kyle is 7 1/2 years older than me) wow, Kyle and I had just "officially" started dating when he was 25 years old and here I am with 2 babies! I know this post may sound like I wish I was "older" but I wouldn't change one day of my life to have something else or do something different.  I know God has a plan for each and every one of us, but my plan is one difficult road to travel.  I am in the process of trying to finish my bachelor's degree which may be the death of me.

That is something else, it was hard enough to stay focused when I was 20 years old and taking 4 or 5 classes a semester now its like where is the time to squeeze even one class in.  I know that with time I we will figure this mess out, but I want answers and solutions now.  My folks have been paying for most of my school since Ive started and I want more than anything to get that degree, but I feel like I'm on a one way road and there is no place to venture off and it is becoming increasingly frustrating. 

Also my mom is out of town until July 13th and I miss her sooooo much, I need her and I want her to wrap her arms around me and tell me everything is going to work out and to quit worrying but she isnt here and she cant do those things... It is time for me to put my big girl panties on and use the tools that they have taught me growing up to use when I become an adult.  I guess the truth deep down is I'm not ready to be an adult... not quite yet.. but HELLO REALITY! Right?

Anyway, I dont want you to be completely depressed when you finish reading my post so I will leave you with an exciting note....


Remember the date... Monday July 11th.... Why you wonder??? Well because that is the day, the big day we find out if this little peanut that has been making its mommy SUPER sick is a boy or a girl!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeekkkkkkk! We are going to a place in Gastonia to find out we were just to excited to wait until August because my doctor's office wont do it until 19 or 22nd week! No thanks we'll get it done sooner if we please!! YAYYYYYY! I know your excited too... dont deny it (wink wink)